-Andy Prescott-Richards

The churlish woodpecker, an inquisitive magpie, heck, even heavy rain against the window can be considered acceptable sounds to disturb a Saturday morning slumber. 

The missus banging the Dyson down every stair isn’t.

I’m outta here. 

I know she does it as a passive aggressive poke for me to help around the house more but I’m not playing these games, not today. Half asleep, I head towards the bridge at the old RBS. It’s teaming down but I’ve got my raincoat and reliable shoes on. I decide to venture left towards the cricket pitch. Hood keeps blowing back with the wind and exposing my face to the elements. Anger turns to freshness with every stride though. Nature is the great leveller. 

She won’t change after thirty years and neither will I. Stalemate. 

This towpath is dreadful- potholes everywhere. Will need to moan about this on the Facebook Community Page later. A family of ducks have congregated under the bridge at Northway. Oh, to be as free as a bird. No banging hoovers down here. Bliss.
The cricket pitch comes into view as I round the bend. I wonder if “Chris The Icy” will be at the football today. I’ve been buying Mars Bars and cans of Coke from him since the Nineties. Some fella and some van- reliability in spades.

With no break in the rain I plow on through the soggy track. Feet remain dry though. She was right about paying a bit extra for a good pair of shoes. The floor hardens beneath me as a patch of cobbles are negotiated after crossing the bridge at Hall Lane. Not long before I’m back squelching though. 

A second grumble from my stomach is enough to tell my rain soaked brain that we need food. Passing a few seated swans I find myself at the next bridge. Tree View shops are calling me. That cafe should be open, shouldn’t it?

Over the bridge and rounding the bend at the chemist, I look ahead and spy a fella leaving the cafe with a hot drink in hand. Oh yes, it’s on.
I shake off the excess rain from my hair and coat before opening the door to Bernie’s Too. The warmth hits instantly. Salvation. The smell of coffee grazes my wet nostrils soon after. 

One of the girls behind the counter greets me with a sarcastic, “raining out?!” I’m all for banter but I’ve never been good at it. “Wetter than an otters pocket,” is all I have as a return. Social awkwardness achieved.

Scanning the menu after grabbing a window seat, shock hits me.. £6.95 for a large breakfast! Without hesitation, I head back up to the counter and order before inflation hits. Anything below a tenner for a large cooked meal is unbelievable value during these Starmer laden days.

After a few minutes of people watching out of the big window my culinary delight is brought over. Oooof. Oblong perfection. 
Two bacon, two sausages, two toast, two hash browns, egg, tomato, black pudding, beans, and mushrooms. Plus a coffee. Cutlery is spotlessly clean. I’ll have to bring the missus next time.

Bacon was the right colour and most importantly, the egg didn’t have any gloop on the top. Impressed.

After wolfing down the lot in record time I’m sat feeling content. A final swig of my coffee sees me back at the counter paying and bidding my farewells.

I open the door with the wind and rain instantly hitting. The scoffed breakfast will be my shield for the return journey, let’s do this.
The inevitable argument finds it’s way to the front of my mind as I trudge through the ever deeper muddied towpath. She’s gonna read me the rights for sure. I can’t face it. 

Approaching the back of Maghull Business Centre my brain has a flashbulb moment and we conjure up a plan involving a bunch of flowers and an apology. That breakfast has changed me. Ooof, those hash browns and those beans. I’m so full. 

A stop off at the Sainsbury’s in the Square sees flowers and a box of chocolates purchased.  A few more minutes walking in the rain and I’m stood with key in hand, facing the front door. Deep breath. 

I turn the key and tentatively push open the door. A muffled shout comes from the bathroom..”Who’s that? I thought you were still in bed.”
Ahhhh, four forks ache!!!!!  
If you’re looking for a top value, top quality breakfast that will inevitably make you a better person, look no further than:

Bernie’s Sandwich Bar and Deli Too
14-15 Treeview Court, Maghull, Liverpool L31 3HF

Andy Prescott-Richards